WATCH OUT! BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE

As discussed previously most of the child molesters often do not show any difference in their appearance from a normal person. In fact they may appear more charming and trustworthy than an average person in order to earn the trust of the victim and the family.

So what should we keep an eye on?

A Vast majority of child molesters happen to be male. This could be due to many reasons including sexual abuse by female sexual abusers going unreported frequently.

The abusers may be happily married and having successful adult sexual relationships. Their adult sexual orientation does not generally indicate the gender of their target victim: it could be the same sex or it could not.

Where should I Look?

While it is ok to keep an eye on strangers paying attention to your kids, what is more essential is to keep focused on much closer surroundings. As it has being repeatedly told most child molesters are people quite close to their victims .According to Abel and Harlow Child Molestation Prevention Study the percentage of children targeted by molesters is as follows:

CHILDREN IN THE FAMILY

• Biological Child -19%
• Stepchild, Adopted or Foster Child-30%
• Brothers  & Sisters-12%
• Nieces & Nephews-18%
• Grandchild-5%

CHILDREN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

• Child Left in their Care-5%
• Child of Friend or Neighbor-40%

CHILDREN WHO ARE STRANGERS

• Child Strangers-10%

This really makes sense when we look at the nature of molesters and their victims. The molesters act, sometimes very carefully and patiently over years to groom the victim so that there is no or very little resistance .Specially in the Asian set up children are taught not to question but listen to and obey adults.

And the nature of children is such that they often depend on their family and close care givers for survival. It is quite easy for a person in this close circle to earn the trust of a child than a complete stranger.

They earn the trust of their prey.

The molesters often find ways to be alone with the child , building up the child’s trust. They attend to the child’s needs and make them feel protected. They show a lot of attention to the child’s needs. This will go a long way in a family where there is

•  parental inadequacy or unavailability as we see more and more with single parent units and mothers often seeking employment abroad
•  where there  is parent child conflicts or
•  poor parent child relationships.

 Even in a family where the children get proper attention, children always love more attention which they would welcome.

 Also

•  children who have no proper sexual education
• children with disabilities
•  lonely and sad children and 
• children who are too young to express what happens to them 

are at a greater risk of falling prey to theses molesters.

Caught up in the hectic lifestyle of today, the parents themselves would welcome any extra help offered by a caregiver by spending extra time with their children.

The child molesters would gain the child’s confidence, by appreciating them, offering gifts and other incentives which would be kept as their secrets mostly. By accepting these gifts and keeping them a secret between the molester and the victim it makes things further difficult for the child to refuse attempts of sexual abuse or to report them.

Overtime, the molesters would test their victims, usually with offhand jokes and accidental brush-up’s  to see whether there would be any resistance.They further confuse the child by making remarks that such encounters are common and normal within families.

 If a child is properly educated beforehand the molester can be surely identified at this stage.

 Furthermore the molester  would lie and manipulate the child so that the child is quite confused  and consider the abuse as a game or a normal act. But often children feel uncomfortable following  sexual abuse. Yet reporting to a responsible adult is usually prohibited by the molesters by emotional black mailing and sometimes even threats and actual physical violence. They would feign that the child is hurting their feelings, threat to hark the child or a family member or that the family would be disappointed to hear what happened.

In a nutshell

A child molester can be a person you meet daily, just like the milkman or your coworker. So it is important to stay focused both on strangers as well as close family members.

 Remember PREVENTION IS ALWAYS BETTER.

• All children need special vigilance, but specially kids who are at a larger risk as mentioned above.
• All children should be educated age appropriately on what is good and bad when it comes to physical contact with others, when to say “NO” and whom to talk to.
• Rather than being a casual observer, step in and intervene if you think something suspicious is going on.
•  A CHILD'S LIFE MIGHT BE AT STAKE. 

SO, DO NOT HESITATE